...

 So my worst fears have been confirmed.
Things are different.
This is really immature and stupid, and I'm mad at myself for being upset about it,
but my BF signed online and talked to my cousin and didn't talk to me.
We don't even talk anymore. I can't call him right now because I know
he'll be like "this isn't a good time, I'm out with people."
He's always out with people.
When I went home everything was just so bad. It's still wearing on me.
Gary even noticed and was like "what's wrong?" when  I was moping around his room.
He kept giving me hugs and I got mad at him for making me feel better when I don't want him to,
it should be my BF but he never does, he just makes me feel worse sometimes.
I don't even want him to lavish me with attention, just...sometimes...
I don't know.
I don't want to be here.
And I don't want to go home either.
I don't want to be anywhere. :(